Hello from Saturday, from standing in the same spot, but without the baby. From a place of fear, but then the dog comes upstairs, with her ball, and I can’t remember what I am afraid of. But the feeling is still there. 

I hear kids screaming all day long. Sometimes it is coming from my kids. Sometimes it is coming from inside the white noise I play while the baby naps. Sometimes I just hear them when everyone’s asleep, when I am alone. 

I’m fine. I’ve decided it’s akin to staring at a light, then blinking, the flash still there. An aftertaste. 

It’s a holiday weekend, and there hasn’t been much time for writing. All of the baby’s naps have been on the go, at the wading pool, in the Chinese garden, in the woods. This is the first nap where I’ve been able to stand here, on my throbbing feet, Taylor Swift singing, white noise streaming on my computer. 

It’s 4:12PM though and time to make dinner.

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