Hello from the end of sick time, from wondering if my daughter needs a diagnosis, from going to swim lessons and gymnastics and being happy happy happy to going back in the car and back to screaming and throwing and kicking. 

Hello from standing in the bedroom, wearing the baby again, swaying because all of his naps today have been too short and the swaying will keep him asleep. 

No writing has happened. I’m in the upside-down of my house, doors slamming after I say, “I can’t let the house be filled up with screams.” (This is what Dr. Becky tells me to say.) But, is that true? I could let that happen, couldn’t I? I could let the house be filled up with screams and I could sneak out back and lie down on the blanket I put out there in the shade. I put it out there to embrace summer, and doesn’t lying down on a blanket under a tree make everyone feel better? I could let the house be filled with my daughter’s screams as I sleep out there, in peace.